fallingxapartx

So I've been thinking a lot lately, which really isn't ever a good thing....I seem to be going in a direction I'm not so fond of. I hardly see Aaron anymore, which hurts, as we live together. When I do see him half the time I feel like I'm dead.

Dead...has so many meanings to me I guess. Dead inside, numb, empty. I suppose in a way I'm preparing myself for what I know is to come. A part of me wishes that I could just stop. Just give up.

Just give up, Denyss, you'll never get what you want. Not in this world.

And the saddest part is I'm starting to believe it's true. Perhaps I should just find my old master, or some new master and hand myself over now. I wouldnt ever forget Aaron, I think that there is something there for me though, that isn't there for him. Yes, we're eager to please each other...But that doesn't mean shit in this world, not anymore.

Then again, love doesn't mean anything in this world either, does it? So, honestly, tell me. What exactly is the point?

Why so silent, journal? Haven't you got an answer? Funny, I haven't got the answer either. I wish that I did. Perhaps I do though.

Just slit your wrists Denyss. Hang yourself. Take that gun over there, put it in your mouth. Go to the vampires.

They all mean the same thing.

Don't tempt me.

What's the matter, Mary Jane?
Had a hard day?
So place the don't disturb sign on the door.
You lost your place in line again, what a pity.
You never seem to wanna dance anymore.

It's  a long way down.
On this rollercoaster.
The last chance streetcar went off the track.
And you're on it.

I hear you're counting sheep again Mary Jane,
What's the point of trying to dream anymore?
I hear you're losing weight again, Mary Jane.
Did you ever wonder who you're losing it for?

Well it's full speed baby.
In the wrong direction.
There's a few more bruises.
If that's the way you insist on heading.

So...I really don't know what to say in here.
My name is Denyss McKnight, (pronounced Dennis) I'm seventeen and I'm from Canada.
I was previously owned but ran away...Um I just saw my best friend again today...
Aaron Gilmore. The prettiest face I've ever seen.
I missed him.
I live by any means neccesary. If you want to get to know me come find me.